top of page
Breaking News, Broken News, and Perfectly Fine News
Search
Japanese Beans
Karate KILLS! When will the violence end? 😔 Adding on to our series of determining which beans represent which races/ethnicities.
Jun 13, 2023
In Memoriam: What Neville Longbottom's Forgotten
It's been 32 years, and he still hasn't remembered what he's forgotten.
May 29, 2023
Due to Unfortunate Typo, Pollen Farrell Wins Most Hated Celebrity
Thank you, Nasonext! In an unfortunate blunder, once-beloved Irish actor Colin Farrell's nomination for best celebrity was submitted as "Pol
May 4, 2023
If Inflation Is Real, Why Aren't My Nudes Selling for More?
I've been bending over backwards (literally) trying to get some high-quality tasteful smut out on this wonderful gift from Al Gore, and...
Apr 22, 2023
Actor on Your Friends List Stars in 3-Second Clip on HBO
After 8 long years in the industry, thousands of dollars in acting courses and self-taping materials, and 78 rejections from the NC...
Apr 6, 2023
The Whale's Brendan Fraser Wins Oscar for Portrayal of Your Mom
He captured her size, but not her shrill. MORE MEAN BEAN ENQUIRER ARTICLES > MEAN BEAN STRIPPED COMICS > I CAN'T READ. SHOW ME VIDEOS >
Mar 26, 2023
Woah! There's a Guy Dressed as a Giant, Snarling Bear at this Party! Wait...
This party is AWESOME! There is one thing that's a bit odd, however. Some guy dressed up as a large animal of some sort.
Jun 16, 2022
Entrepreneur’s Success Story Goes Viral on LinkedIn
[Transcribed from LinkedIn] I didn't come from money. I came from a small pickle factory in southern Ohio. For 6 years, all I had to eat...
Jul 14, 2021
It's Really Hot Outside; Let's Move Independence Day to the Fall
It's hot enough to warm an egg. It's hot enough to melt ice! It's so hot, I'm sweating, for crying ousteth loudeth! We hold these truth...
Jul 4, 2021
Happy Flag Day!
Flags don't care about your feelings, folks, okay? MORE MEAN BEAN STRIPPED COMICS > MEAN BEAN ENQUIRER ARTICLES > I CAN'T READ. SHOW ME...
Jun 14, 2021
Company Dares to Send National Hamburger Day Email Without Coupon
May 28th is National Hamburger Day and some restaurants decided to celebrate by giving you nothing. Not even 25¢ off. Just an email in...
May 28, 2021
Hamlet Act III Bean I
As Bill Shakespeare said, "All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players: they have their exits and their...
Apr 16, 2021
Man Overjoyed to Find Shrimp HEADS in Cinnamon Toast Crunch 🍤
Lifelong Honey-Flavored Oat Circles eater Cecil Clyde was shocked and delighted to find shrimp heads in his first ever box of Cinnamon...
Mar 26, 2021
3 SHAMs who ROCK! ☘
'Tis the season to cause capillary contusions to all your colourblind "friends" whose evil caretakers told them they were already...
Mar 17, 2021
Irish Beans
>Talk about luck o' the Irish. Happy St. Patrick's Day, ya big lugs! #IrishSunglasses ☘ MORE MEAN BEAN STRIPPED COMICS > MEAN BEAN...
Mar 16, 2021
Celebrate St. Patrick's Day with this Classic Irish Recipe!
Before we get into this St. Patrick's Day recipe, we have a long-winded story full of keywords and ads that will fill you to the brim...
Mar 16, 2021
That's Gaelic
Or a paid sponsorship with Skittles. Or a covenant with God to never again flood the earth. But most likely... That's Gaelic. Happy St. ...
Mar 15, 2021
Senate Offers Choice of Lump Sum Stimulus or $10 Annuity for the Next 140 Years
The Lump Sum is only payable in Dave & Buster’s tokens. Think of what you can do with an extra TEN DOLLARS each year. Well, actually,...
Mar 7, 2021
Crap! Did I Miss Tardi Gras?
Sorry, cringe IFLScience Atheists, this isn’t about tardigrades, this is about Tardi Gras, the celebration for whimsical souls such as...
Feb 21, 2021
Got a problem? Think we aren’t a REAL news site like the “National Enquirer,” which STOLE our name? Think we’re just some satire/comedy writers from Greensboro, NC making some JOKE of a site like a lesser-known The Onion, Clickhole, or AboveAverage? Think we don’t FACT CHECK?? Well, you thought wrong.
Send leads to enquirer@meanbeancomedy.com.
bottom of page