top of page
Mean Bean Enquirer Logo SQ.jpg

Breaking News, Broken News, and Perfectly Fine News

Entrepreneur’s Success Story Goes Viral on LinkedIn

  • Writer: Melanie Lech
    Melanie Lech
  • Jul 14, 2021
  • 1 min read

Updated: Sep 5, 2021



[Transcribed from LinkedIn]



I didn't come from money.


I came from a small pickle factory in southern Ohio.


For 6 years, all I had to eat was pickles.


The kids at school made fun of me because I was different, and I always smelled like dill.


They called me Dilliam, PicklePants, Poor Pickle Boy, the list goes on...


My first job was cleaning toilets with a pickle.


But one day, I had enough.


I saved up all of my pickles and used them to pay for college.


I was promoted to CFO within a year of graduating.


Why? Because I worked my tailpickles off?

No.


Because I am Smarter and More Handsome Than All Of You? (I know it, you know it, the pickles know it.)

No.


Because I worked my tailpickles off.


And if I can do it, you can too.


I'm no one special. I'm just Nick AwesomeSuccess Matthews.


In a world of cucumbers, be a pickle.




Comments


Got a problem? Think we aren’t a REAL news site like the “National Enquirer,” which STOLE our name? Think we’re just some satire/comedy writers from Charlotte, NC making some JOKE of a site like a lesser-known The Onion, Clickhole, or AboveAverage? Think we don’t FACT CHECK?? Well, you thought wrong.

Send leads to enquirer@meanbeancomedy.com.

PSST... HEY KID, WANNA TRY SOME BEANS?

SUBSCRIBE IF YOU DARE

Prepare for 1,000 emails per week.

MEANBEANCOMEDY.COM

bottom of page