top of page
Breaking News, Broken News, and Perfectly Fine News
Search
Japanese Beans
Karate KILLS! When will the violence end? đ Adding on to our series of determining which beans represent which races/ethnicities.
Jun 13, 2023
Woah! There's a Guy Dressed as a Giant, Snarling Bear at this Party! Wait...
This party is AWESOME! There is one thing that's a bit odd, however. Some guy dressed up as a large animal of some sort.
Jun 16, 2022
The Mean Bean Enquirer is Under Attack
A coterie of some of the most heinous personalities on the internet (and Jim Davis) came together to release a nasty hit piece on the...
Mar 2, 2021
Crap! Did I Miss Tardi Gras?
Sorry, cringe IFLScience Atheists, this isnât about tardigrades, this is about Tardi Gras, the celebration for whimsical souls such as...
Feb 21, 2021
Farti Gras Slowly Approaching in Large, Green Cloud
NEW ORLEANS, LOUISIANA â Youâve heard of Mardis Gras, and youâve heard of Cardi Gras, but have you heard of Farti Gras? Not all of them...
Feb 16, 2021
This Cardi Gras, Everyoneâs Blacking Out! Okuuurr!!
NEW ORLEANS, LOUISIANA â Itâs time for some Wet Ass Phenobarbital! Celebrate your holiday to the max with skimpy costumes, colorful...
Feb 16, 2021
Hunger down in Africa, Moms with picky kids FURIOUS!
As the 21st century progresses, and more efficient farming practices and supply chains and distribution networks are implemented, global...
Dec 4, 2020
Throw All Your Turduckens Out NOW!!!
Local Chinese Scientist w/o Criminal Record Invents New Edible Bird Hybrids for Cheaper than Brand A. Sponsored Op-Ed by Devon Mason...
Nov 19, 2020
Top Ten Pilgrims I Can Beat in a Fight (And One I Canât!)
In this time of reflection and gratitude, itâs important to take the chance to contemplate the important questions in life. Why did Club...
Nov 13, 2020
We Usually Avoid Politics, ButâŠ
We cannot fight this any longer. Mean Bean Enquirer avoids political stories, so in other news thereâs⊠nothing. No Jesuses on toast....
Nov 6, 2020
Mean Bean Enquirer Rap Cypher â Lil Stinker ft. Elkanah
Mean Bean Enquirer is so eager to get new readers, we spent our entire marketing budget hiring these two Hip-Hop Superstars to write our...
Oct 18, 2020
APA Rules Shower-Fart As a Form of Self-Harm
The American Psychological Association, or APA, officially announced as of last Tuesday that âshower-farting,â the act of farting whilst...
Oct 14, 2020
This Is Hallobean
I am the one hiding on your plate, Youâll all run and scream when I sublimate. I am the one that is good for your heart, The more you...
Oct 10, 2020
How To Host The Perfect Halloween Party Even Your Grandfather with Dementia Wonât Forget
Read on to learn how to throw one HALL(oween) of a HALLOWEEN PARTY that even your GRANDDAD WITH ALZHEIMERS won't be ABLE to forget! Serve...
Oct 7, 2020
AMC Theatres Reopen Oct. 9 to Bathroom Wall Poopersâ Delight
CHARLOTTE, NORTH CAROLINA - North Carolina AMC Theatres are scheduled to reopen starting on October 9th, much to the delight of their...
Sep 30, 2020
I got 25 flu shots so you donât have to: the best flu shot deals in NC
Charlotte, NC - Target and Publix may offer $5 and $10 gift cards when you get a flu shot, but thatâs just the tip of the syringceberg. I...
Sep 24, 2020
High-Beans
Do we brighten your day? You donât need to respond; we already know the answer! MORE MEAN BEAN STRIPPED COMICS > MEAN BEAN ENQUIRER...
Sep 20, 2020
Catholic Church Condemns Cuties; âNot Enough Little Boysâ
THE HOLY PRISON CELL 35-C - Controversial Netflix film Cuties has been under fire by liberals, conservatives, basically everyone except...
Sep 16, 2020
Got a problem? Think we aren’t a REAL news site like the “National Enquirer,” which STOLE our name? Think we’re just some satire/comedy writers from Greensboro, NC making some JOKE of a site like a lesser-known The Onion, Clickhole, or AboveAverage? Think we don’t FACT CHECK?? Well, you thought wrong.
â
Send leads to enquirer@meanbeancomedy.com.
bottom of page