Funny Email Marketing Samples

All of these samples are by Melanie Lech. I never use AI.

Website & Links

·         All links & press: https://flowcode.com/page/melanielech 

The Mean Bean Times 

Cramming a ton of info into a small place.

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Emails for Cold Leads

Email 1

SUBJECT: Ideas for Resident Retention 

Mouse traps? Inflatable bounce houses? Anything other than Karaoke Wednesdays…

What if I told you there was a better way? (Because there is.)

I'm the Co-Founder of ****, a rising wellness company out of ****, Colorado. We provide an all-in-one wellness program that helps you attract more tenants, retain more residents, and turn your complex into a community.

Oh yeah, and one more thing...

We just started our national expansion and **** is one of the first cities we are targeting.

That’s right… we have a chance to make history. This is bigger than Neil Armstrong’s step on the moon. It’s bigger than step dancing. It’s bigger than the Will Farrel family film, Stepbrothers. 

Starting November 1st, we are launching this program to the moon with the first 10 properties that are a good fit. 

Our program provides residents with in-home massage, on-site personal training and on-site fitness classes, plus virtual training, all bookable through our app. Talk about comprehensive, huh?

We have nailed this process down to a tee and I can tell within 15 minutes if we’re a good match.

Book a call with me to learn about a better mouse trap here: ****

Looking forward to hearing from you,

****

Email 2

SUBJECT: The Next Step in Evolution 

Please tell me you didn’t let Brittany go through with Karaoke Wednesday… Anyway,

Homo Sapiens > Homo Erectus > Homo ****Us

[Edit: Okay, this is Melanie here as I'm editing these samples, and I have to admit that the asterisks did not work out great in that particular spot. Lol. Now, back to the email sample.]

(I know we all already learned this in grade school, but it never hurts to review.)

I’m writing you again because new scientific discoveries have revealed intriguing insights for landlords...

41% of residents are willing to pay more for an apartment if they have on-site fitness classes.

Over 3 times as many residents request on-site fitness classes over virtual options.

Ok, so now we know that residents value this so much so that they will pay extra for it... But what else do we provide?

I got something for you, and it only takes 50 seconds, and Darwin himself would have been blown away by it. Here is a video that briefly goes over why our partners decide to work with us over anyone else:

****

If you want to boost your amenities, come on back and book a quick 15 with me and we'll help you ****.

****

Email 3

SUBJECT: Watch Out, Chuck Norris 

There’s a new legend on the block, and she’s a… redheaded resident named Luann?

You heard that right. If the video from my last email wasn’t enough to convince you of the value of on-site wellness programs, we’re betting Luann can.

She’s been attending classes since we first started, so she knows a little bit about our style.

http://****

Don’t you want your residents to feel the same way?

Pick out the best time for you and I to chat on my calendar:

****

It’ll be legendary. 

Email 4

SUBJECT: How Wellness Programs are the Answers to Middle East Peace

Ok, maybe I’m reaching here... But I think I figured it out. We know a couple of things:

1. Residents want on-site wellness, so much so that they will pay extra for it.

2. We provide on-site wellness, and I think we do a pretty dandy job of it.

3. We market the program, set up the schedule, handle any maintenance issues, and have a support team to communicate with residents so that your team doesn’t have to.

So there’s one of two options here… 

1. A disgruntled resident stole all of your work equipment, hid all of it underneath separate seats at the Toyota Center, and snuck off into the night undetected. You know who did it (BRITTANY!!), but there’s no hard evidence. The investigation is underway and it’s taking up a large percentage of your time.

2. I didn’t properly explain our program.

If it’s number one, I feel like the only course of action would be implementing an on-site wellness program so Brittany finds a new level of peace and joy through health and wellness. This newfound inner peace will lead her to return the aforementioned stolen items, get singing lessons, and then solve all of the issues of unrest in the Middle East period, and all will be right in the world (or at least the Middle East). 

If it’s number two, coincidentally, the same solution applies.

I can explain the benefits of our program in better detail over a call. Come to think of it, it only takes 15 minutes (a fourth of the time it takes to watch an episode of The Great British Baking Show.) 

Here’s the link: 

****

Returning Residents Email

SUBJECT: Don’t Be the One Who Got Away…  

The middle school dance is happening all over again… Was it our breath? Was it because we didn’t fight? 

Was it because you left us for… gasp! Richard Simmons?! 

We get it; it was his hair… But we’ve got a lot to offer, too! 

And things at **** just aren’t the same when you’re not a part of it. 

Remember: all classes are free and conveniently on site at your complex. 

So, if you, like any decent person, don’t want us sitting in our office listening to this on repeat, add another class or activity to your calendar before sunset. 

Book now: **** 

Love, 

****  

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Like what you read? Check out more on my old blog, accidentallytragic.wordpress.com! I also write and make short films and sketches. You can watch those via flowcode.com/page/melanielech. You rule!

Want help sprucing up your copy? Reach out! ASAP. No time like the present. :}